Nyaris Nyolong Sepatu Karena Melamun: A Foolish Discourse

Kemarin sore. Seusai menunaikan ibadah shalat ashar. Saya duduk. Di tangga pendek masjid dekat tempat wudhu yang menghadap ke lapangan. Saya meraih kaus kaki sembari memandangi permainan voli sekaligus melamunkan sesuatu juga. Di sudut mata saya, saya menyadari ada seorang bapak-bapak sedang menatap; rasanya ada yang salah. Kemudian, kaus kaki saya pakai. Dan memang ada yang salah. Mengapa warnanya hitam? Lanjut pakai sepatu. Talinya ke mana? Sepatu saya kan ada talinya.

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Ternyata, saya lupa kalau tadi pergi ke masjid pakai sandal bukan sepatu. Sepatu saya tinggal di kantor. Setelah tepuk jidat dan menunduk malu. Saya bangkit, memakai sandal, lalu segera pergi.

Ah. Malunya. Nyaris maling sepatu orang.

Tapi.

Bukan itu yang sekadar saya hendak bahas di sini. Melainkan lamunan yang menyebabkan kejadian konyol tersebut. Aduh. Ini dia:


A Foolish Discourse

♠♣♥♦

It was indeed my folly

To use

Other people as

A simulation fulcrum of the self

As if trying

To poke myself in the eye

With a thorn

But not through my own

Because I knew

This particular person

Would resort

To similar pattern of thoughts

With mine

If

Faced with such sudden abrasions

So

It was indeed my folly

To assume too much

Firing

Barrage of insecure accussations

In the form

Of arrogant and ignorant preaching

I felt

An enormous shame

When the mirror

Cracked

Songs of truth

About longing

Was unleashed

Damn

It was indeed my folly

To continue

The frantic downhill roll

As my fingers reached out

For roots, trunks, and anything

Yet I refused to hold them cause I kept pushing

Bruises proliferating

As walls being crushed

The frictions ignited a trail of madfire

As my interest in Epicureanism

And Thomas Jefferson

Rekindled

It was indeed a greater folly of me

To persist that all of these was complete follies

Because even in such a foolish discourse

Of pretentious philosophies

I unexpectedly

Rediscovered some portions of myself

Across these incisions of unsolicited advices

It is indeed one of my greatest folly ever

To keep regurgitating nonsense

To cover

To shade

To besmirch

The tiny illumination

From a supposedly forgotten candle

That [NOT] accidentally ignited

By the waltz and salsa of my madfire

Oh God

Will it burn bright to bless me with warmth?

Will it burn as blight and caress me with harm?

Oh

God

P H U C K

∗∗∗

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